Wow, what a week.


I got a gorgeous wee Nephew at half 12, on the 4th of December :)

Me with my nephew, Leighton <3

It was a bit of an emotional day too, with my dad and two of my Grandads no longer here, but you know, when i saw him, my face lit up and i couldn't stop smiling. I still think i smile 24/7.

He's just the best.
He sucked my finger on friday, when he was crying and opened his eyes and looked right at me, it was just an amazing time. I just love him <3


Pictures are on Bebo, have a wee lookie :)

someday, i'll wish upon a star..<3

Sometimes, i wish it was different.
I wish. I just wish.

Last weekend was a really bad one. It was 16 years to my dad, so Grace and i headed to his grave to give it a clean, and put in some roses.

I always thought that it would get easier to life with when i was older, but really, it's a little harder - you want them around to go throught the happy times with you, your graduation (which is on monday) Graces 1st baby, his first grandchild. I want him around. And thats the hard part.

Yes, i've been blessed you have such an amazing Adopted Dad, or so i call him, in my life over these las couple of years..but he's now moved too...they both are watching from a distance...least i can still talk to my adopted dad though.

And, i don't think my adopted parents know just how much they mean to me. So, if you are both reading - I love you both! *Hugs*

the life of sam...

I have no clue where to start....

When we arrived back from Africa, i knew the next thing i had to do was to find a Job.
So, i've been at the Job centre quite a bit, I've became an expert in filling in application froms, I've had 5 Job interviews, 4 on the same week, 2 on the same day....I rejected a 10 hour cleaning job in the hope that one of the three full time ones would get back to me, luckily, the post arrived on saturday morning with a letter from Crossroads caring Scotland offering me the position of Care Attendant. :) Yay!! They do kids clubs every saturday, and during the summer and October holidays - Hopefully i'll get a chance at that :).

But in amongst all that...my uncle Alan phoned one evening last week (I now think they should call more regularrly, because when they randomly call, you know something is up)...and i was right. This time, it was my Grandma. She has smoked all her life, and has never ever had any health problems, and so this was sort of out of the blue, and shocked us all, and worried us. So with phone calls going from Peterhead to Greenock, we find out my Grandma has a Lung disease, a bloodclot leg, has low oxygen in her blood, and might have had a suspicious heart attack...but we're still not sure about that yet. The good news is, she's out of the cronory unit, and is stable, still on Oxygen, and hopefully giving up smoking. Which, to me, was the best news ever. I remember trying to tell her when i was little to stop, now after this, she's going to, and so are some of my cousins. :)

From Job interviews to spending afternoons in the Army hall, trying to do Candidate Assignments - "They key events in the histroy of the Salvation Army", This is actually a really interesting topic, and i've learnt so much, much more than i ever knew before.
I've also been planing Driven for this Sunday...hopefully it goes well.

And, lastly, mum's in Hospital this wednesday, to get an operation on both her feet. Please pray for a healthy and quick recovery. And pray for the family too, especially with my Grandma, and mum in hospital....and Grace, who's like 28 weeks pregnant.

And that is it.

Thats us back from Tanzania.
I miss my little friends, and their smiles, thier love, and just everything so much.
My body still wakes at 7am for 8am prayers, and by half 10pm, i'm shattered...i wish i was in Africa!

Africa was amazing. Don't know when i shall be back there, but i know it probably wont be in the next two years at least.

I miss Peladia and Prisca :( They were my little girlies.

Today we had the North Scotland Music School festival, which entailed saying Goodbye to two people who have been a big source of strength, a big enouragement and just basially amazing DYO and DCO, but more than that, they've beame family...and lets just say it was an emotional afternoon.

Things wont be the same without them, it all seems weird already...i don't like it very much.
(I'm mving with them - they don't know it...but i am, haha)

College or no college? that is the question....

So, l was told last Friday that i am not allowed back to College. Which in itself isn't very nice, but when accompained by the following:

- You are not teacher material, and will not be an effective teacher
- You should not have passed your Grade 8, the only reason you passed was because i played the piano and covered up for you, and he didn't notice..really you should have failed. The Grade 8 you got was crap.
- You need to take a year out, discover it is you want to do with your live, grow up then come back. I'm not here to help you grow up.
- You have not shown me you are a cornet player
- You have not shown you'r love for the Cornet

That last one is good. For the last 12 years, i've spent nearly every Wednesday night for 2 hours at the Salvation Army hall learning a brass instrument. 12 Years...if i hated it i would have given it up before now, i would so not have applied to College to do a music course.

And, i don't see how someone can say you won't be an effective teacher, when the tutor who made that comment has never seen me teach, never at all.
Someone reminded me about Thomas when all this happened last Friday. Thomas being a 14 year old that i'm helping at Band learners, for like the last year and a bit..and he's came on so well, and that makes me so happy.

If i wasn't so much in love with wanting to become a teach with brass, do you really think i'd get a little bit upset when i hear little kids say they're not going to come back because they use too big words, and he doesn't get it...and i can think of many ways to put it across to that age group..

If my tutor only knew...haha, well, by tomorrow she probably will. Withemails flying around, calls being made on my behalf.

I'm just so annoyed.
The condition to get into the second year of the Diploma was : Pass Grade 8..which i have done. Then my tutor turns around and tells me and a friend who passed, with Distinction actually he's not getting back...i didn't get it.
So, basically what she is saying is Grade 8 didn't matter in the first place. (The ones who failed are getting back =/) and all that matters if tara thinks you can do it.
Well, i think i can do it,friends and family think i can do it...and i'm going to fight.
They outcome may not change, i may have to sit think, Pray and work out what God wants me to do these next two years, but if anything, i want tara to know what she said was wrong, and for someone who doesn't have much confidence...which is what she said also, to say that to me, how she thought that was going to help i don't know.

Grade 8

Woot! Sam has passed, with 71%. I so was not expecting that, but i'm really glad i have passed. So, really, i should be allowed back to college next year, since passing the grade 8 was the condition. Yay! :D

It's funny though. The same happened with my results as last year. I hated and really couldn't play my sonata by Flor Peeters...last year i got 17/20 for the first movement, this year for the second and third movements i got 19/20....Amazing, didn't think i did it justice to be honest.

So, this year i got my Diploma in teaching Cornet & My grade 8.
Next thing is my ATCL (Associate Trinity College London) - Some teaching qualification lol.

God's love, God's love...=)

"The tide is now flowing, I’m touching the wave,
I hear the loud call of the Mighty to Save;
My faith’s growing bolder, delivered I’ll be;
I plunge ’neath the waters, I plunge ’neath the waters,
I plunge ’neath the waters they roll over me. ..

And now hallelujah the rest of my days, shall galdly be spent in promoting his praise..."
William Booth.

- Nerve wreaking
- Scary
- Exciting
- Both corps saying they'd pray for me
- Promises not to forget
- Giving Kelston & Cindy their farewell present =(
- Hugs
- Wii Challenges
- VF adventures & Banter
- Good comments/Fedback from meetings
- Enjoyable
- Funny

And, i think that maybe sums up my weekend.

Today the Vocational Fellowship, 5 of us and Cindy & Kelston went to two corps: Findochty & Buckie. Leaving aberdeen at 8:45am to get there and prepare everything for the meeting, and set up instruments etc.

It was a very nervous morning, well for me anyways. Having never really taken such a big part in a meeting before: It was my first ever sermon. So basically for the majority of the journey in the morning i was praying.

We got there about 10:15...and the officer was starting to worry i think, since the meeting starts at half 10, haha. But we got there, and the meeting began. Chris lead the meeting to start with and led us in worship then into our prayer time.

Chris did his testimony in both meetings, Christine Sang a solo in both meetings, Craig and Fiona did a drama entitled "Love is..." Fiona leading some worship in the evening, And my sermon in the morning, Craig in the evening - He was good =)

There were a lot of positive comments from the morning meeting in Findochty. A man who couldn't stay for tea and coffee told the officer, who then told us, that he thought it was an 'Inspiration'.

Today was for me, a confirmation of my calling to officership, and a really good experience in all.
I what also an emotional and very draining day..doing a sermon takes a lot out of you..and thats what, i'm now away to sleep.

Farewell No.1

I really don't like Good byes and Farewells, and i have 3 this month, and all in two weeks.

First one was tonight. Instead of the usual practices from 6 -9, We all, as a corps gathered together to have a Social for Paul, Kim, Megan and A-J. A night filled with challenges, fun, laughter, quizzes, band pieces chosen by Paul, Kim and Megan, and two songster pieces.

During the second Songster piece "He Leadeth Me"..i turned round to Megan to see if she was okay, and moments after, she put out her arms for a hug and started crying :( So we left the hall and sat in the foyer for a while with A-J. But soon after we got called back in for a time of prayer with the 4 of them, which turned into a group hug with Chloe, Megan and I.

It was a good night, in all.
Just very sad.
I don't want them to leave :(

Cindy & Kelston's Farewell next :(
Then Fiona's :(

Sponsored Walk....

A group of 12 left ASDA's at 10am yesterday morning to walk to Longside and back (About 10 miles) My first fund raiser for going to London in 2010.

It started out to be a really nice day, but a bit along the walk, we got caught in the big downpour and most of us were soaked by the time we arrived back in Peterhead. In the group, the youngest being like 10, he walked, or shall i say ran most of the way to Longside, i was really impressed by him :)

All in all, yesterday's walk was a good 3 hours, even if i'm still sore, haha.
And so far we've raised £393 :)
Praise the Lord!

“God’s Love” Findochty 22nd June

When I was thinking about the theme for the meeting, and thinking what God wanted me to say, I seen this sticker on a car, saying:

"God loves you! And I am trying"

Then I thought, just for interest, I would see if I could find any more on the internet.

"God loves is being enough for all of us!"

"God loves you whether you like it or not."

There is some truths in these saying and we are going to examine those now…

You see an earthly father’s love can let us down at any time, they can forget important days, they can say things that hurt and upset us, a father may not even have anything to do with their Childs life. At any point, anything could go wrong. Gods love for us is the total opposite, he is there at any and every minute of our lives, knows us each one by name, would never do anything to harm us, he watches over us with a mighty and powerful love. And we’re going to take a look at that love a little later on.

My Dad died when I was 4 years old. And I always thought there was something missing, there was that person missing in my life, someone to guide me, someone else to pick me up when I fell, I missed that someone to just give me a hug when I was hurting. As I grew older, I became more aware of Gods presence in my life, and then things were clearer. It became clearer that even though I no longer had my dad around, that God was my heavenly Father, and he would always be around, no matter how badly I hurt him.

Nothing can compare to the Love of that of Christ Jesus.

John 3: 16 say’s this “For God loved the World; that he gave his one and only son. That we may not perish but have everlasting life”

For the ones who have children, could you imagine having to sacrifice your child? Could you do it?

Abraham went through with sacrificing his son, brought him to the alter, but as God saw how Abraham didn’t hesitate to do as god wished, he let Isaac go. God told Abraham that he would bless him; he would let his children flourish.

Is there anything that God wants you to sacrifice to show how much you love God, or to show God’s love to others? And if there is something you know you have to sacrifice to God, are you ready to do so?

Yes, in the end he didn’t have to, but he was willing. God was willing to give his only son for us, so that we might live.

God won’t cut us off, he won’t give up on us, he could never stop loving us. It says in Lamentations 3 v22: that “The faithfulness of the Lord never ends!” It’s everlasting, ongoing, all sufficient, all-powerful, all that we need.

There’s a song by Brenton Brown that simply says:

“You are the everlasting God

The Everlasting God,

You do not faint,

You won’t go weary.

You’re the defender of the weak,

You comfort those in need,

You lift us up on wings like eagles”

As we were shown earlier in the drama: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance” So, When things are tough and you feel like giving up, God is there, to lift you up again, he says “Don’t be afraid!” He is with you.

God told us as a child in Hebrews 12:5-6...”My child, don’t make light of he Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves and he punishes each one he accepts as his child”

When we were younger, we were maybe told not to leave a certain area when we were out playing, to stay away from certain areas in the house, the cooker for example. The reason we were told these things, the reason for these instructions is to keep us safe and away from any danger.

God’s Love is like that of a Father, an earthly father corrects a child when doing wrong, and always wants the best for their child, and loves them, The same as God, yet he loves us with a more Unconditional Love, nothing we could do could make God love us any less, and nothing can ever separate us from the Love of God.

Unconditional love, but does it really cost us anything? We are told in Lamentations 3::27, that it is best to give yourself to God at an early age, to the yoke of his discipline. So, really, God wants us to give ourselves back to him, to accept him into our lives, and to let him work in us. In Jeremiah 31:3, the lord said to Israel “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing Love I have drawn you to myself!” God’s love is loyal to all the thousands who love him and keep to his commandments.

But, is it enough to say that we love each other? We need to accompany those words with actions. As the old saying says; “Actions speak louder than words!” Verse 30, says “Let them turn the other check to those who strike them, and accept the insults of their enemies” Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so when we stand before God we will be confident.

The song by Celine Dion - Because you love me says these words:

For all the love I’ve found in you,

I’ll be forever thankful,

You’re the one, who held me up,

Never let me fall,

You’re the one who saw me through it all.

You were my strength when I was weak,

You were my voice when I couldn’t speak

You were my eyes when I couldn’t see,

You saw the best there was in me,

Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach,

You gave me faith cause you believed,

I’m everything I am,

Because you loved me.

Celine Dion // because you loved me

This song was written about Celine’s dad, and how much of a part he played in her life. She wrote this song after he died, and was just so grateful for his love. These lyrics are true about God too, his love lifts us up, it’s our eyes when we can’t see, he is our strength when we are feeling weak. God saw the very best in us, and he uses us, he uses us for his glory. Everything that we are is all because of God, and his precious gift of Love.

“God Is love, and all you live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.”

We will never be perfect, but we can strive to be like our heavenly father, and learn from him. God’s gift of love is given to us, and we need to receive that love and give back to him what he deserves, to give our lives back to him, and live for him.

Coming back to our car stickers…I did find another one which sums up all that we have been looking at about God’s love. God the father, sent his only son into this world, because he loves us so much, and God wanted the world to see how much he loved us. The sticker says this:

"Jesus did not come to make God's love possible, but to make God's love visible"

I want to leave you with a few questions this morning..

Have you experienced this love from God?

Have you received God’s love in your heart for yourself?

We are going to listen to Christine as she brings us a solo entitled how deep the father's love for us. While Christine is singing some pictures will appear on the screen showing how God made his love visible through Jesus." In this time, I would encourage you to respond to that love. Maybe at our place of prayer - here at the front of the hall. Maybe where you are... But respond and receive that love again today..

God's Love. Sermon for next sunday so far....

“God’s Love” Findochty 22^nd June

Introduction: An earthly father’s love can let us down at any time, they can forget important days, they can say things that hurt and upset us, a father may not even have anything to do with their Childs life. At any point, anything could go wrong. Gods love for us is the total opposite, he is there at any and every minute of our lives, knows us each one by name, would never do anything to harm us, he watches over us with a mighty and powerful love. And we’re going to take a look at that love a little later on.

(maybe something about my own experience?...)

Nothing can compare to the Love of that of Christ Jesus.

John 3: 16 say’s this “For God loved the World; that he gave his one and only son. That we may not perish but have everlasting life”

For the ones who have children, could you imagine having to sacrifice your child? Could you do it?

Abraham went through with sacrificing his son, brought him to the alter, but as God saw how Abraham didn’t hesitate to do as god wished, he let Isaac go. God told Abraham that he would bless him; he would let his children flourish.

Is there anything that God wants you to sacrifice to show how much you love God, or to show God’s love to others? And if there is something you know you have to sacrifice to God, are you ready to do so?

Yes, in the end he didn’t have to, but he was willing. God was willing to give his only son for us, so that we might live.

God won’t cut us off, he won’t give up on us, he could never stop loving us. It says in Lamentations 3 v22: that “The faithfulness of the Lord never ends!” It’s everlasting, ongoing, all sufficient, all-powerful, all that we need.

There’s a song by Chris Tomlin that simply says:

you are the everlasting god

the everlasting god

you do not faint

you won't grow weary.

You're the defender of the weak

you comfort those in need

you lift us up on wings like eagles.

As we were shown earlier in the drama: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance” So, When things are tough and you feel like giving up, God is there, to lift you up again, he says “Don’t be afraid!” He is with you.

God told us as a child in Hebrews 12:5-6...”My child, don’t make light of he Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves and he punishes each one he accepts as his child”

When we were younger, we were maybe told not to leave a certain area when we were out playing, to stay away from certain areas in the house, the cooker for example. The reason we were told these things, the reason for these instructions is to keep us safe and away from any danger.

God’s Love is like that of a Father, an earthly father punishes a child when doing wrong, and always wants the best for their child, and loves them, The same as God, yet he loves us with a more Unconditional Love, nothing we could do could make God love us any less, and nothing can ever separate us from the Love of God.

Unconditional love, but does it really cost us anything? We are told in Lamentations 3::27, that it is best to give yourself to God at an early age, to the yoke of his discipline. So, really, God wants us to give ourselves back to him, to accept him into our lives, and to let him work in us. In Jeremiah 31:3, the lord said to Israel “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing Love I have drawn you to myself!” God’s love is loyal to all the thousands who love him and keep to his commandments.

But, is it enough to say that we love each other? We need to accompany those words with actions. As the old saying says; “Actions speak louder than words!” Verse 30, says “Let them turn the other check to those who strike them, and accept the insults of their enemies” Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so when we stand before God we will be confident.

The song by Celine Dion - Because you love me says these words:

For all the love I’ve found in you,

I’ll be forever thankful,

You’re the one, who held me up,

Never let me fall,

You’re the one who saw me through it all.

You were my strength when I was weak,

You were my voice when I couldn’t speak

You were my eyes when I couldn’t see,

You saw the best there was in me,

Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach,

You gave me faith cause you believed,

I’m everything I am,

Because you loved me.

Celine Dion // because you loved me

This song was written about Celine’s dad, and how much of a part he played in her life. She wrote this song after he died, and was just so grateful for his love. These lyrics are true about God too, his love lifts us up, it’s our eyes when we can’t see, he is our strength when we are feeling weak. God saw the very best in us, and he uses us, he uses us for his glory. Everything that we are is all because of God, and his precious gift of Love.

“God Is love, and all you live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.”

We will never be perfect, but we can strive to be like our heavenly father, and learn from him. God’s gift of love is given to us, and we need to receive that love and give back to him what he deserves, to give our lives back to him, and live for him.

This last few weeks, have been sorta heavy.

With lots going on, with the candidate front, and college, and family, all together was a bit much.
And yet again, i cried in front of another tutor on Thursday. I'm not liking this trend that's happening.

Thursday i stayed behind after theory to go over my pieces with my tutor, Tara. I knew my pieces weren't all perfect, weren't up to scratch, and it all just too much.
With worrying about things like, money for training college, if i was coming back next year to college, I just cried.
Tara was nice about it all though, however she did say that "I should think about what I want to do.." she feels like I've fallen into the music category and that i should take a year out, and i could always come back another year.
That being the point though, i don't really have another year. This next year was meant to be college in Aberdeen, finishing my Diploma, the year after - Work! So i have no clue what i'm doing.

Ideas that were thrown to me by Mark Herbert:
- Shadow Matthew and Debbie
- A month of leading Driven
- Visit a corps in England for a visit (Which is going to be Plymouth)

Was thinking that if maybe i don't get back into college, i got get a job, and maybe do some of the above, minus the england corps, that's not going to be till next year, January/February time.

But, it's the holidays now, and I'm enjoying it :)
And i have my first Candidate Fund raiser on Saturday - Sponsored Walk & BBQ :)

Candidates Interview

Candidates Interview tomorrow.

Sort of nervous and worried about it. But it should be okay, i guess.
I've just been printing out Thoughts that i did for the youth meeting not long ago and my prayers from during the youth re:treat this past weekend, just so they can see what I've been doing.
Should maybe take along my sermon so far, but hmm, not sure.

Interview with the usual Candidates board (Minus Catherine i think) and joining us is Mark Herbert, Territorial Candidates Direcor.

"Through God i can do much much more than i could ever imagine"
Ephesians 3:20.

In Christ Alone by Newsboys

It's near candidates interviews again, and this song just reminds me that it's all in God's hands.

Even though this next interview is scaring me already. Think it may be the fact that Mark Herbert, Territorial Candidates Director is going to be conducting it, that alone sounds scary.

Yesterday was such an amazing day, i don't know where to start.

I came home last night after Driven, and something from that day had stayed with me.
Whether it was the fact that yesterday was on the last things i'll do with Cindy and Kelston being there, whether it was the fact i was shown how supportive my corps actually are, or things that were said and done, whatever it was, maybe all of thee above. Yesterday was just a very very special day to me.

Being Candidates day, i was taking part. Both meetings i was involved in the Prayer time. Morning i was involved in the responsive prayer, along with Kelston and CIndy, and in the evening, I led the prayer time. Something i hadn't done before, and something i was very worried about, but it went really well.

Before the meeting started, Kelston was asking me if my prayer time was all sorted, and how i was feeling about that, then said he was going to interview me, just to let people know whats been going on, and then they were going to pray for me. The interview went well, but it was when we invited people to stand around me, and pray for me, then the whole congregation were on their feet, was very emotional. As kelston finished praying i looked around with tears falling down my face to see everyone, which ended up with more tears. I love my corps so much <3

I remember standing on the platform when Kelston, when he said this: "Look after her, I may be in Plymouth but I'll be watching from a distance" - That was the sweetest thing i had heard in a long time.

And, my song that i picked for the songsters was "I'll Not Turn Back!" and it was actually sang twice that day - morning and back. Very moving song. In the morning it was used as part of the response. We were given little strips of blue ribbon and we, if we wanted, could tie them to a fishing net, to show that we'd left that something behind that was getting in our way of giving up and not turning back.

All in all, a really good day.
But if that was just everyone supporting me at the start of this journey, i don't want to see what it's going to be like when i actually leave, haha!

Lots of hugs, support and smiles yesterday =]

I'll Not Turn back, What ever it may cost, I'm called to live, to love and save the lost!
♥

Smile =]

Things that made me smile recently...


- Two little kids playing peek a boo on the bus this morning, was sweet.
- Spending time with my college friends, and taking random pictures.
- Playing Frisbe, was great fun.
- Thinking about tuesdays meeting with Matthew and Kelston, haha! (you had to be there)
- Tara's suggestions for Keith instead of swearing - Coconut Fudge.
- Me cool paper wedding ring
- knowing that it's only 18 days till my summer holidays start
- Knowing the Madeleine and Gemma are home soon. And Madeleine is home for good this time :)
- Knowing i'm going to be an Aunty in November
- And knowing that Jesus love me <3

So, if you forget about exams, life is great at the moment! :)

Imagine...you can be a hero!

It was all getting less scary, then today comes and scares me a bit more. If that made any sense?

Candidates Interview with the Candidate board and Mark Herbert.

I had a meeting with Kelston and Matthew today though, that was good!

Kelston read parts from the Local Officers forms about me, read parts from the feedback from the candidates board on my 1st interview. They all see potential in me to be a good officer, and that it was a positive and confident 1st interview.

The things that were said today, were very sweet.

"So now i hold on to your plans for my future
A future that's dressed in the veil of your love
Protecting my eyes from the trials of tomorrow
So today can be blessed with the power of your love
No, I can't seem to hide from your love"
Annika Scutt <3
(Think i may use this in my sermon too)

(I got her album for my birthday, and I'm totally in love with it!)

"I'll not turn back
whatever it may cost
I'm called to live, to love and save the lost,
I'll not turn back,
I'm called to live, to love and save the lost!"

This song twice in one day, oh me! Love it though, the words are becoming more real to me each day while i'm on this journey. They mean a lot to me.

Meet Baby Geddes!

Best news i have had in a while.... I'm going to be an Aunty :)

My friends amaze me more than ever.

Today and yesterday haven't been the best days. With Nan not looking too great, college work pilling up, Sermons for Vocational Fellowship, Candidate Sunday to help organize, and much more, including loosing music for my grade 8 exam.

So i went into college today, not knowing what to expect. But my friends at college made me laugh and smile so much today, and then i had a nice meeting with the Bennett's, and then to top it all off, I just had a really nice conversation with Madeleine.

It was the usual,'have you got any gossip' line, but it lead on to the topic of me going to London so i had to explain all that. And I've always known mads to be very understanding, and very open minded, but tonight she just amazed me. She was asking all sort of questions and things. It was nice, nice to chat about it with her.

My mum told me last night, that if things were pilling up, and i feel like sort of top heavy right now, then maybe get a few things out of the way. Like my sermon she said, but i still don't know what to write, i need time to sit down and think that over. Which may be a task for tomorrow or Thursday night. I was sitting quietly in bible study as i usually do, taking it all in, thinking to myself when i glanced at me trainer and got a reminder from one of my favourite songs; "I'll Not turn back!"

No you're not defeated
And soon you'll be smiling once again
Then you won't have to feel it
Let it go with the wind
Time passes us by
And know that you're allowed to cry

'cause when you're in your darkest hour
And all of the light just fades away
When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray
Well hang on (whoa) and be strong
(hang on hang on) Be strong
Hold on and be strong

Delta Goodrem - Be Strong

Banter with Rachel.

Today went better than i thought it would have.
Though, i'm still loving God's sense of humour, i hate talky things.

Sam's Friday:
Presentation on the Cornet (Principles of Teaching class, AM)
Cornet lesson - Canceled
Lunch - With Rachie ♥ =]
Home.
Supper.
Time with Mum ♥
Some Superman ♥


Rachel and I had a lovely chat this afternoon. And it made me realize how much i have missed her. She was like a little sister to me, and when they got their farewell orders it made me awfully sad. Yeah, they only got moved an hour away, but i never did see her as much. So, today was nice. Today we meet for lunch and talked about anything and everything, about the first day we meet, Army stuff, School / College, Candidate stuff, London, Uni's, Families....and the list goes on.

And she's my only visitor coming to see me in London so far that isn't family :)

She is still like a little sister. I love my Rachie ♥ xxxx
(That is all.)

samanthaisms....

"Feeling Good,
Feeling good,
i got love in my heart and my soul,
and i feel good,
there's joy down in my sould i can't explain,
Oh, i gotta tell everybody,
I feel good"

=] memories of music school are floating around in my head right now.

"Close to me,
every moment of my life
I feel his presence guarding me
as shadows turn to night
close to me
every moment he is there..."

<3
Good times!


Samanthaism, is what Paul (my cornet tutor) calls the things that go on inside my head whilst playing the cornet. For example, when everything is actually going really well, but for some reason, i think "oh, it's going well..i'll just make a mistake!"...who knows, but lets say whenever it comes up, Paul's expression, and movement is very entertaining in itself.


Updates on the sermon for June..
Lamentations 3 v 22 - 33

Intro to theme: Valentines day, Brotherly/sisterly love... There's a love that we can always rely on, and that's god's love.

Point 1: Faithful Love of God...
- "Never Ends"
- "Great is his faithfulness"
- Bible verse, Love is patient, love is kind
- Song; "Oh Love that will not let me go..."

Point 2: - Not sure about this point


Point 3: God's Love In Action
- 1 John 3 v 18 - 19
- God live in us, so therefore so does his love...we cannot separate the two
- Being a helping hand...


And some conclusion.

And that is my notes so far, on my 1st ever sermon.

tomorrow...

I don't really fancy going to college tomorrow =[

What i do fancy doing however is, a trip to Aberdeen and to Starbucks, A nice walk in the lovely graveyard, come home early, transfer money for Africa, go buy some flowers, pay a visit to Mr Birthday Boy/Man , come home and watch Superman....but i can't!

Maybe i could pop into town after college though...late night shopping on Thursdays.

So, for tomorrow...Happy Birthday Dad, 51...Old Man! I miss you =[

God's Love...

Is the theme of the Vocational Fellowship meeting for our mission weekend in June.

And, Kelston's invited me to prepare a sermon for the Sunday morning in Findochty. Based on God's Love.

bible passage - Lamentation 3 v22-32...(i think, not set yet).
Songs: God's love is Wonderful.


When i got the letter from Kelston, i was in tears, simply because I don't like doing talky things, which most people know, but I've came round to it, and it'll get my first sermon over with quickly i guess, and plus, i have no reason to be scared..God called me to be an officer, so therefore he will supply all my needs for that day.

The End.

Spiritual Gifts...

I have just been cleaning out my room, and found the spiritual gift quiz we got given to do again in a few months, and this time it's come out as this:

Being the top three:
- Service to Society
- Pastoral
- Teaching

Only one new one there, the society one. Well, teaching was one of my low one back in January, but through helping out with band learners, i think it's been a big help.

Testify to Love

I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about the Army actually.
I've had interesting conversations, the one that has stuck with me being the one i had with my doctor.

He was asking me what i was going to do with my life etc, and i said music, and then I'm off to London to the Salvation Army training college. And his response: "Oh wow, that's really good"....then we went on to say..."I've always had a soft spot for the Army, they're the ones who seem to help people before they get all preachy at them!" And it made me think, think of how much we are doing to help those people who are in need in the world, but more so, in our own town.

We give out food parcels, the doors open...etc etc, but could we maybe be doing more to help?

Like, every since i was working in Murdoch Allan's and was stuck washing dishes, i actually had a lot of time to think. And what seemed to somehow get into my head was a soup kitchen, and it's now something, after thinking about it, i would really really like to be involved in very much.
Maybe before i Jet of to London i'll get that chance. Would be nice.

Other than that, I've been doing some reading. Suggested reading for candidates, still reading I'll fight, trying my best to finish it for tomorrow and give it back to matthew and maybe start reading another one.

...."I'f i'm not called to stay maybe i should go!" -I'll Fight by Phil Wall.

For as long as i shall live i will Testify to Love ♥

...

The past week, has been sort of scary.

Scary because i had a cornet prelim which i wasn't ready for, a thought to prepare for church on Sunday night that scared me to death, then when i thought it was all over, i had to say my testimony whilst out with the Songsters on Monday night.

Gotta love God's sense of humour. Because, for someone who doesn't have the confidence to stand up and talk, like these things, it has been a very emotional week.

But i did it, i got through it. And it's all part of the training, as everyone has kept telling me.

But last night, someone from me at church told me that through the last six months everything that I've done talky wise that I've gained more confidence and that I'm going to be a good officer.
I seem to be hearing those few words a lot right now :"You'll make a great/good officer".

All this, like officership, has constantly been on my mind lately. 2 years to go now!

My Thought!

Hebrews 11 shows us some great examples of faith, and how God used the people of that day. These people in Hebrews, like Sarah, Noah, Enoch, Abraham, they all did something that was thought to be the impossible. With God all things are possible, which is why we have our faith. Faith to be sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. We need our faith to be invincible, Hebrews 11 v 1.

From verses 3 – 31, most of them start with “It was by faith”, by faith that these people let God use them and did things that in that day seemed impossible.

I am called to be an officer, and through that calling God may ask me to do some things that I Samantha Davies can’t do, but with by acts of Faith and by the Holy Spirit I can do what God wants me to do. I wasn’t very keen on doing this tonight, because I don’t really have the confidence for speaking in public, but through prayer, faith and placing my trust in the Lord, God will provide the confidence that I need.

In Hebrews 10 v 35 it says “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord, Remember the great reward it brings you!”

This verse makes me think of college at the minute. It gives me reassurance to not give up. I had a prelim the other day for my grade 8 cornet exam, and let’s just say it didn’t go very well. I went into my prelim with so much on my mind that I broke down into tears. Through that first half hour my tutor was very helpful, and reminded me that I could do my grade 8, and when I told her what I was talking about tonight and said I didn’t know what to say, she started laughing, I had just explained to her a situation that I could not do unless I placed my faith in God and believed in him.

It’s by faith & the Holy Spirit within them that they could believe and do what God was asking of them. This is how we are invincible, by faith and by having the Holy Spirit living and working with in us.

When we become invincible we don't like to see people hurt, people gossiped about, people left out. We want to make a difference. We want to use that special power inside us. And you can have these special powers. Power to love the unlovable, befriend the friendless. Give hope to the hopeless. That special power is the Holy Spirit.

Hebrews 11 v 39 – 40 says this: “³⁹These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. ⁴⁰God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

Therefore together with God, we are invincible.

Don't give up!

Fridays cornet prelim didn't go too well. I got in there and broke down in tears in front of my tutor, but if you put aside all the music and the whole grade 8, it was actually a nice half hour, was nice to talk to someone who doesn't know me that well, do wasn't directly involved with all that's been getting me down. Dorothy has been amazing recently, and I'm glad she was so supportive and interested yesterday. She's ace =]

And Cindy and Kelston have again been a great support recently, through cards, hugs and texts, they've made things seem less scary. They have given me some good advice;They've just been amazing ♥ I wish they weren't moving in August, I'm really going to miss them =[

Imagine...

Imagine your life different. Well that's what we were all doing at the weekend.

I was off at the training college for the weekend, with Cindy, Kelston, Christine, Chris and Phillip.

The weekend started off on Saturday morning for me anyways, as i got ready to leave, and caught the train from Laura's to Johnstone, where my uncle dropped me off at Glasgow airport.
I was flying from Glasgow, everyone else from Aberdeen, but their flight was delayed, so i was finding things to amuse myself with for three hours.

They arrived just after 5, and then we all hopped onto and off of trains, then arrived at the college, dumped our things then went to get some food. While on this bus, cindy decided to do my hair for me, so i was then walking round London with piggy tails. We went to this little Chinese place, was nice, then went for a walk round London.

We arrived back at the college with millies cookies and sweets, and Christine and i had Tea/Coffee, and the boys came and joined us before they decided to go watch the football and go on their own little tour of the basement.

Sunday went off to a good start, we were all up in time, and ready for 9. But i realized my fringe was longer than the other side, so, Cindy gave me a haircut, lol.

From 10 till half 10, we had refreshments in the dining room, followed by worship from half 10 till just after 12. Which was really nice. It was full of Cadets' choir, drama's, the worship band, and walking around shaking hands with everyone. A song they sang was this:

what can i do but thank you
what can i do but give my life to you

Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do but praise You,
everyday make everything I do a hallelujah
A hallelujah, hallelujah

We all then pilled into the dining room for lunch, then had a tour of the college.
Then our three sessions: Essential, a short time experience and a glimpse of college life. Unfortunately we never got to the last one, because we had to go to the airport. But all in all, it was a really good weekend.
Even if my phone battery died Saturday evening. Was a good weekend.

Back from the training college!

Too much travelling. I'm shattered.
But, London was well worth it.
And the training college is beautiful. Was a good weekend.
Will blog tomorrow in more detail. But for now, i'm off to bed.

P.S - Cindy gave me a hair cut this morning, lol!

I'll not turn back

Lyrics are two posts down if you want to read them again.
The songsters sang this song last night, and it means so much to me. Means so much to me because it reminds me and makes me think about officership, reminds me of certain people, and is just a great song in itself. Well done Mr John Gowans :)
And as Hazel said "This is a weepy one"...i sat there recording the songsters, but at the end i had to run to the toilets.

"If doors should close, then other doors will open"...."I'm called to live, to love and save the lost"

And a little note to the Bennett's if you're reading this. Hope you're having a lovely holiday, and enjoying time with your family =]

I had to do the report about the youth rally for the salvationist. I sent it to Kelston yesterday, who said i could be a journalist, haha. Got to send the salvationist a bit more details and it should be in next Sunday.

Moves are out.

Got the text this morning.
Cindy & Kelston are moving to Plymouth. I'm gutted.

Those two have became like family to me. Kelston's been like the dad i lost when i was little.
I'll miss them loads. =[

But i know that Plymouth are so lucky to be getting them as officers. And i know it's for the best, and God will take care of them.

Oh, and to top it off, Fiona is moving too. Going to Bolton. Leaves two days after our Africa trip.

I actually meet Fiona for lunch today. Had a lovely 2 and a half hour chat, and coffee, was a good laugh! =]

I'll not turn back!

If crosses come, if it should cost me dearly,
To be the servant of my Servant Lord,
If darkness falls around the path of duty,
And men despise the Saviour I've adored.

I'll not turn back, whatever it may cost
I'm called to live, to love and save the cost
I'll not turn back, whatever it may cost,
I'm called to live, to love and save the lost

If doors should close, then other doors will open,
The word of God can never be contained,
His love cannot be finally frustrated,
By narrow minds or Prison bars restrained

I'll not turn back, whatever it may cost
I'm called to live, to love and save the cost
I'll not turn back, whatever it may cost,
I'm called to live, to love and save the lost

If Tears should fall, If i am called to suffer,
If all i love men should deface, defame,
I'll not deny the One that i have followed,
Nor be ashamed to bear my Master's name

I'll not turn back, whatever it may cost
I'm called to live, to love and save the cost
I'll not turn back, whatever it may cost,
I'm called to live, to love and save the lost

- John Gowans

Spiritual gifts

"But i will keep on hoping for your help;
I will praise you more and more.
I will tell everyone about your
righteousness
All day long I will proclaim your
saving power,
though i am not skilled with words.
I will praise your mighty deeds.
O sovereign Lord.
I will tell everyone that you alone
are just."
Psalm 71 v 14-16


After Vocational Fellowship, i've been doing a lot of thinking, and spending like a lot of time reading my Bible, and time in prayer. Time with God, asking him to help me, asking him to give me the courage and strength to explore the spiritual gifts that he's been laying on my heart since Friday night.

And all that, for some reason, led me to the bible study tonight. Usually i wouldn't go unless someone was coming with me, or back when laura and i used to go on Tuesday nights. But yesterday and today, i've left something different. Like something within myself has went all calm, and like i knew i needed to be at that Bible study for some reason.

On Friday night, Kelston prayed that we'd each get a conformation of God's call on our life. And without thinking, like totally forgetting all weekend he had prayed that prayer, got to church on Sunday morning. Matthew's illustration that morning was, what do you want to be when you grow up?.Then he turned it round by saying that sometimes God has other plans for our lives and that we basically can't run from that. That, with what someone reminded us all on Friday night..."God will equip you with whatever you need, in his time".

So, thats the run down of my life right now. I am exploring the spiritual gift of preaching.
And on top of that, i'm trying to get myself ready for my teaching exams these next few weeks.

The run down of my 1st Candidates Interview

What would I do if I got sent to a Corps that didn’t have a brass band? I have no clue to be honest.

I am called to be a Salvation Army Officer so maybe it would be okay. God’s not called me to be a Band Master, so if I did get sent to a corps without one, I should be okay about it.

So, I have survived my 1^st Candidates interview. And the above was one Question I got asked. The interview went quite well. Better than I thought. And by the time I got to DHQ, I managed to get myself together and stop crying. Which was good.

Lots of questions were asked. Like how I ended up in an interview talking about wanting to become an officer, what makes the Salvation Army any different from any other church, if I had to choose between working in a church of Scotland Baptist or Army who would I chose and why, If I wanted to do corps work. Then I got given the ‘Towards officership’ document. This is filled with assignments and check lists. which will help me and get me ready for college in the next two years.

And do end with the DC said this “Well, I think we’ll take you on to the next step. So you’ll come back for another interview in six months”

All in all, it was good.
=]