I'll Not Turn Back.: June 2008

6/29/08

College or no college? that is the question....

So, l was told last Friday that i am not allowed back to College. Which in itself isn't very nice, but when accompained by the following:

- You are not teacher material, and will not be an effective teacher
- You should not have passed your Grade 8, the only reason you passed was because i played the piano and covered up for you, and he didn't notice..really you should have failed. The Grade 8 you got was crap.
- You need to take a year out, discover it is you want to do with your live, grow up then come back. I'm not here to help you grow up.
- You have not shown me you are a cornet player
- You have not shown you'r love for the Cornet

That last one is good. For the last 12 years, i've spent nearly every Wednesday night for 2 hours at the Salvation Army hall learning a brass instrument. 12 Years...if i hated it i would have given it up before now, i would so not have applied to College to do a music course.

And, i don't see how someone can say you won't be an effective teacher, when the tutor who made that comment has never seen me teach, never at all.
Someone reminded me about Thomas when all this happened last Friday. Thomas being a 14 year old that i'm helping at Band learners, for like the last year and a bit..and he's came on so well, and that makes me so happy.

If i wasn't so much in love with wanting to become a teach with brass, do you really think i'd get a little bit upset when i hear little kids say they're not going to come back because they use too big words, and he doesn't get it...and i can think of many ways to put it across to that age group..

If my tutor only knew...haha, well, by tomorrow she probably will. Withemails flying around, calls being made on my behalf.

I'm just so annoyed.
The condition to get into the second year of the Diploma was : Pass Grade 8..which i have done. Then my tutor turns around and tells me and a friend who passed, with Distinction actually he's not getting back...i didn't get it.
So, basically what she is saying is Grade 8 didn't matter in the first place. (The ones who failed are getting back =/) and all that matters if tara thinks you can do it.
Well, i think i can do it,friends and family think i can do it...and i'm going to fight.
They outcome may not change, i may have to sit think, Pray and work out what God wants me to do these next two years, but if anything, i want tara to know what she said was wrong, and for someone who doesn't have much confidence...which is what she said also, to say that to me, how she thought that was going to help i don't know.

6/23/08

Grade 8

Woot! Sam has passed, with 71%. I so was not expecting that, but i'm really glad i have passed. So, really, i should be allowed back to college next year, since passing the grade 8 was the condition. Yay! :D

It's funny though. The same happened with my results as last year. I hated and really couldn't play my sonata by Flor Peeters...last year i got 17/20 for the first movement, this year for the second and third movements i got 19/20....Amazing, didn't think i did it justice to be honest.

So, this year i got my Diploma in teaching Cornet & My grade 8.
Next thing is my ATCL (Associate Trinity College London) - Some teaching qualification lol.

6/22/08

God's love, God's love...=)

"The tide is now flowing, I’m touching the wave,
I hear the loud call of the Mighty to Save;
My faith’s growing bolder, delivered I’ll be;
I plunge ’neath the waters, I plunge ’neath the waters,
I plunge ’neath the waters they roll over me. ..

And now hallelujah the rest of my days, shall galdly be spent in promoting his praise..."
William Booth.

- Nerve wreaking
- Scary
- Exciting
- Both corps saying they'd pray for me
- Promises not to forget
- Giving Kelston & Cindy their farewell present =(
- Hugs
- Wii Challenges
- VF adventures & Banter
- Good comments/Fedback from meetings
- Enjoyable
- Funny

And, i think that maybe sums up my weekend.

Today the Vocational Fellowship, 5 of us and Cindy & Kelston went to two corps: Findochty & Buckie. Leaving aberdeen at 8:45am to get there and prepare everything for the meeting, and set up instruments etc.

It was a very nervous morning, well for me anyways. Having never really taken such a big part in a meeting before: It was my first ever sermon. So basically for the majority of the journey in the morning i was praying.

We got there about 10:15...and the officer was starting to worry i think, since the meeting starts at half 10, haha. But we got there, and the meeting began. Chris lead the meeting to start with and led us in worship then into our prayer time.

Chris did his testimony in both meetings, Christine Sang a solo in both meetings, Craig and Fiona did a drama entitled "Love is..." Fiona leading some worship in the evening, And my sermon in the morning, Craig in the evening - He was good =)

There were a lot of positive comments from the morning meeting in Findochty. A man who couldn't stay for tea and coffee told the officer, who then told us, that he thought it was an 'Inspiration'.

Today was for me, a confirmation of my calling to officership, and a really good experience in all.
I what also an emotional and very draining day..doing a sermon takes a lot out of you..and thats what, i'm now away to sleep.

6/18/08

Farewell No.1

I really don't like Good byes and Farewells, and i have 3 this month, and all in two weeks.

First one was tonight. Instead of the usual practices from 6 -9, We all, as a corps gathered together to have a Social for Paul, Kim, Megan and A-J. A night filled with challenges, fun, laughter, quizzes, band pieces chosen by Paul, Kim and Megan, and two songster pieces.

During the second Songster piece "He Leadeth Me"..i turned round to Megan to see if she was okay, and moments after, she put out her arms for a hug and started crying :( So we left the hall and sat in the foyer for a while with A-J. But soon after we got called back in for a time of prayer with the 4 of them, which turned into a group hug with Chloe, Megan and I.

It was a good night, in all.
Just very sad.
I don't want them to leave :(

Cindy & Kelston's Farewell next :(
Then Fiona's :(

6/15/08

6/14/08

“God’s Love” Findochty 22nd June

When I was thinking about the theme for the meeting, and thinking what God wanted me to say, I seen this sticker on a car, saying:

"God loves you! And I am trying"

Then I thought, just for interest, I would see if I could find any more on the internet.

"God loves is being enough for all of us!"

"God loves you whether you like it or not."

There is some truths in these saying and we are going to examine those now…

You see an earthly father’s love can let us down at any time, they can forget important days, they can say things that hurt and upset us, a father may not even have anything to do with their Childs life. At any point, anything could go wrong. Gods love for us is the total opposite, he is there at any and every minute of our lives, knows us each one by name, would never do anything to harm us, he watches over us with a mighty and powerful love. And we’re going to take a look at that love a little later on.

My Dad died when I was 4 years old. And I always thought there was something missing, there was that person missing in my life, someone to guide me, someone else to pick me up when I fell, I missed that someone to just give me a hug when I was hurting. As I grew older, I became more aware of Gods presence in my life, and then things were clearer. It became clearer that even though I no longer had my dad around, that God was my heavenly Father, and he would always be around, no matter how badly I hurt him.

Nothing can compare to the Love of that of Christ Jesus.

John 3: 16 say’s this “For God loved the World; that he gave his one and only son. That we may not perish but have everlasting life”

For the ones who have children, could you imagine having to sacrifice your child? Could you do it?

Abraham went through with sacrificing his son, brought him to the alter, but as God saw how Abraham didn’t hesitate to do as god wished, he let Isaac go. God told Abraham that he would bless him; he would let his children flourish.

Is there anything that God wants you to sacrifice to show how much you love God, or to show God’s love to others? And if there is something you know you have to sacrifice to God, are you ready to do so?

Yes, in the end he didn’t have to, but he was willing. God was willing to give his only son for us, so that we might live.

God won’t cut us off, he won’t give up on us, he could never stop loving us. It says in Lamentations 3 v22: that “The faithfulness of the Lord never ends!” It’s everlasting, ongoing, all sufficient, all-powerful, all that we need.

There’s a song by Brenton Brown that simply says:

“You are the everlasting God

The Everlasting God,

You do not faint,

You won’t go weary.

You’re the defender of the weak,

You comfort those in need,

You lift us up on wings like eagles”

As we were shown earlier in the drama: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance” So, When things are tough and you feel like giving up, God is there, to lift you up again, he says “Don’t be afraid!” He is with you.

God told us as a child in Hebrews 12:5-6...”My child, don’t make light of he Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves and he punishes each one he accepts as his child”

When we were younger, we were maybe told not to leave a certain area when we were out playing, to stay away from certain areas in the house, the cooker for example. The reason we were told these things, the reason for these instructions is to keep us safe and away from any danger.

God’s Love is like that of a Father, an earthly father corrects a child when doing wrong, and always wants the best for their child, and loves them, The same as God, yet he loves us with a more Unconditional Love, nothing we could do could make God love us any less, and nothing can ever separate us from the Love of God.

Unconditional love, but does it really cost us anything? We are told in Lamentations 3::27, that it is best to give yourself to God at an early age, to the yoke of his discipline. So, really, God wants us to give ourselves back to him, to accept him into our lives, and to let him work in us. In Jeremiah 31:3, the lord said to Israel “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing Love I have drawn you to myself!” God’s love is loyal to all the thousands who love him and keep to his commandments.

But, is it enough to say that we love each other? We need to accompany those words with actions. As the old saying says; “Actions speak louder than words!” Verse 30, says “Let them turn the other check to those who strike them, and accept the insults of their enemies” Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so when we stand before God we will be confident.

The song by Celine Dion - Because you love me says these words:

For all the love I’ve found in you,

I’ll be forever thankful,

You’re the one, who held me up,

Never let me fall,

You’re the one who saw me through it all.

You were my strength when I was weak,

You were my voice when I couldn’t speak

You were my eyes when I couldn’t see,

You saw the best there was in me,

Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach,

You gave me faith cause you believed,

I’m everything I am,

Because you loved me.

Celine Dion // because you loved me

This song was written about Celine’s dad, and how much of a part he played in her life. She wrote this song after he died, and was just so grateful for his love. These lyrics are true about God too, his love lifts us up, it’s our eyes when we can’t see, he is our strength when we are feeling weak. God saw the very best in us, and he uses us, he uses us for his glory. Everything that we are is all because of God, and his precious gift of Love.

“God Is love, and all you live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.”

We will never be perfect, but we can strive to be like our heavenly father, and learn from him. God’s gift of love is given to us, and we need to receive that love and give back to him what he deserves, to give our lives back to him, and live for him.

Coming back to our car stickers…I did find another one which sums up all that we have been looking at about God’s love. God the father, sent his only son into this world, because he loves us so much, and God wanted the world to see how much he loved us. The sticker says this:

"Jesus did not come to make God's love possible, but to make God's love visible"

I want to leave you with a few questions this morning..

Have you experienced this love from God?

Have you received God’s love in your heart for yourself?

We are going to listen to Christine as she brings us a solo entitled how deep the father's love for us. While Christine is singing some pictures will appear on the screen showing how God made his love visible through Jesus." In this time, I would encourage you to respond to that love. Maybe at our place of prayer - here at the front of the hall. Maybe where you are... But respond and receive that love again today..

6/12/08

God's Love. Sermon for next sunday so far....

“God’s Love” Findochty 22^nd June

Introduction: An earthly father’s love can let us down at any time, they can forget important days, they can say things that hurt and upset us, a father may not even have anything to do with their Childs life. At any point, anything could go wrong. Gods love for us is the total opposite, he is there at any and every minute of our lives, knows us each one by name, would never do anything to harm us, he watches over us with a mighty and powerful love. And we’re going to take a look at that love a little later on.

(maybe something about my own experience?...)

Nothing can compare to the Love of that of Christ Jesus.

John 3: 16 say’s this “For God loved the World; that he gave his one and only son. That we may not perish but have everlasting life”

For the ones who have children, could you imagine having to sacrifice your child? Could you do it?

Yes, in the end he didn’t have to, but he was willing. God was willing to give his only son for us, so that we might live.

There’s a song by Chris Tomlin that simply says:

you are the everlasting god

the everlasting god

you do not faint

you won't grow weary.

You're the defender of the weak

you comfort those in need

you lift us up on wings like eagles.

God’s Love is like that of a Father, an earthly father punishes a child when doing wrong, and always wants the best for their child, and loves them, The same as God, yet he loves us with a more Unconditional Love, nothing we could do could make God love us any less, and nothing can ever separate us from the Love of God.

The song by Celine Dion - Because you love me says these words:

For all the love I’ve found in you,

I’ll be forever thankful,

You’re the one, who held me up,

Never let me fall,

You’re the one who saw me through it all.

You were my strength when I was weak,

You were my voice when I couldn’t speak

You were my eyes when I couldn’t see,

You saw the best there was in me,

Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach,

You gave me faith cause you believed,

I’m everything I am,

Because you loved me.

Celine Dion // because you loved me

“God Is love, and all you live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.”

6/11/08

This last few weeks, have been sorta heavy.

With lots going on, with the candidate front, and college, and family, all together was a bit much.
And yet again, i cried in front of another tutor on Thursday. I'm not liking this trend that's happening.

Thursday i stayed behind after theory to go over my pieces with my tutor, Tara. I knew my pieces weren't all perfect, weren't up to scratch, and it all just too much.
With worrying about things like, money for training college, if i was coming back next year to college, I just cried.
Tara was nice about it all though, however she did say that "I should think about what I want to do.." she feels like I've fallen into the music category and that i should take a year out, and i could always come back another year.
That being the point though, i don't really have another year. This next year was meant to be college in Aberdeen, finishing my Diploma, the year after - Work! So i have no clue what i'm doing.

Ideas that were thrown to me by Mark Herbert:
- Shadow Matthew and Debbie
- A month of leading Driven
- Visit a corps in England for a visit (Which is going to be Plymouth)

Was thinking that if maybe i don't get back into college, i got get a job, and maybe do some of the above, minus the england corps, that's not going to be till next year, January/February time.

But, it's the holidays now, and I'm enjoying it :)
And i have my first Candidate Fund raiser on Saturday - Sponsored Walk & BBQ :)

6/3/08

Candidates Interview

Candidates Interview tomorrow.

Sort of nervous and worried about it. But it should be okay, i guess.
I've just been printing out Thoughts that i did for the youth meeting not long ago and my prayers from during the youth re:treat this past weekend, just so they can see what I've been doing.
Should maybe take along my sermon so far, but hmm, not sure.

Interview with the usual Candidates board (Minus Catherine i think) and joining us is Mark Herbert, Territorial Candidates Direcor.

"Through God i can do much much more than i could ever imagine"
Ephesians 3:20.

I'll Not Turn Back.

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6/29/08

College or no college? that is the question....

6/23/08

Grade 8

6/22/08

God's love, God's love...=)

6/18/08

Farewell No.1

6/15/08

Sponsored Walk....

6/14/08

“God’s Love” Findochty 22nd June

6/12/08

God's Love. Sermon for next sunday so far....

6/11/08

6/3/08

Candidates Interview