...

I finally managed my interview with Aberdeenshire council, just waiting to hear if i've been successful. I'm really hoping i do though. I always said i'd never leave crossroads if i got another Job, people told me to wait and see as it may not be possible to keep it on.

Now, i love working for Crossroads. I love that i get to work with people, to help people, to be here for people, to just be someone to yap to for an hour...but there's one client in the morning, it's more so the person i work with, that fro the last few weeks things have gotten really uncomfortable for me to be there. I'm not sure if it shows, but i certainly feel less confident walking in that house each morning. The thing, the person i work with is really friendly with the kids mum, so if i said anything, i'd be worried i may loose my 5 hours there, and i need the money, but the kid is also very lovely. I just don't know what to do.

On another note - Candidate interview next monday night, which is starting to scare me a little. Who knows if i know that we're going to be touching the topic of entry years, and with me and my heart and head setteled on going next year...i don't know what they'll say.

God cares..

I have this little bear that i got from someone very special to me, the bear is holding a heart that says"God cares". I have it on my desk aside my somputer, because i sit there quite a bit and it's a nice reminder.

Things are a little heavy going just now.

I have a few candidate things to finish off before my interview in June, i have a lot of extra hours at work at the minute with a workmate being off looking after her mum, i have leighton staying this weekend while Grace and George are away to southport, candidate sunday next week, and family things.

But more so, it should have been my dad's 52nd birthday yesterday. Now, it certainly doesn't get easier, but you learn to live. Well yesterday morning, i tried to tell Leighton about Dad, i've done this before, many times, but he'd never look at the pictures, well yesterday morning he did look, and he just looked at him. All i said was, "This is your granda Raymond" and since then, i've been walking around trying to get my head around it all, that my dad would be a granda, be barely got the chance to be our Dad.

I always wander what he'd be like.
I remember little things, little stories. ♥
I just miss him so much.

xx♥xx

"There's a hero if you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid of what you are.
There's an answer if you reach into your soul
and the sorrow that you know will melt away

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
yeah yeah

So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

It's a long road when you face the world alone;
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
You can find love if you search within your self
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

oh....Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away.
Just Hold on, there will be tomorrow,
In time you'll find the way

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you
that a hero lies in ... you
mmmm that a hero lies in.....you."
Mariah Carey
♥