freak out, just let it go..

This week marked four years to my Dadad, and i miss him very much.
This past month, was been about trips to see Nan in the hospital - its been finding out that my Nan has cancer of the gullet. This month has been hard.

This month, i have also had a lot of contact from London, regarding my medical and physcological consult, which dates have been made for he 5th October. Which makes me very happy knowing things are happening.

This pst few months has been a lot about time management, with studies to be sent to London, Sermons and meeting prep, work, the youth, this month, has been mega crazy, and next month is not going to be any better.

And to top it all off, i kid myself by telling me that i am okay. I pretend that i'm okay with all of this, when really it kills me inside. I am not the sort of person to just give up on people, but i cannot do anything to sort this out. But then you act all childish, and make everything i hae though about you to be wrong, i just, i don't know what to do. I don' think i can do anything. I just hate it that i am the only one who gives a crap.