once again i said my goodbyes
to those i love most
my heart feels that familiar pain
as i long for hope
cause this road is hard
when i feel so far

And God i'm crying out tonight
cause i've givin you my life
but im tired and im missing whats behind
so once more heres my life

on the day that you called my name
all that i knew changed
I found when i said yes
that i would never be the same
though the call is hard
you are worth it all

and God Im crying out tonight
cause ive givin you my life
but im tired and im missing whats behind
so once more....

even when the tears are falling
when i find i fear the calling you
remind me, (yeah)
words you've spoken over my life
promises i've yet to see
you comfort me. (yeah yeah)
BarlowGirl - Heres my life ♥

These last few weeks, have been really weird, they've brought so many tears, and in between some smiles. I feel like i've been on a 3 week rollercoaster and unable to get off.

The song by BarlowGirl above, i can relate to it in so many ways. Not so much fear, as i can't do this, more like i feel i need to know certain things before i can move on in life, things about my Dad. I personally, feel like if i knew more about him, things would be a little easier. Maybe not, but i feel i need to know some things. It's just tricky trying to work out who to ask, when to ask, and how to ask. It's not like all this happened yesterday, we're talking 17 years ago.

On a more possitive note, i feel work in Something Special, is going really well. I'm really enjoying it and the girls are just lovely. Although, i do really miss Crossroads. I feel that all the things i need to do for officership are starting to come into being. And that makes me happy.