i miss you!

I know i'll never get over it, that would never happen. But i feel like a little 4 year old, that little 4 year old, replaying those moments of the 2nd November 1992 in my head, and it's forever printed in my memory...like a photograph...i can remember everything.
Sometimes i wish i just stayed upstairs, and never saw him, i thought not seeing him would make it easier.
Theres just things that you just think 'he should be here', like, for Grace and my graduation, grace's wedding, little leighton arriving, me and training college...he should be here for all this. I turned 21 a month ago, he should've been here for that.
Yeah, i'm used to him not being here, but it doesn't make it any easier.
I wish one of my earliest memories wasn't that day, i just wish he was here.
I just miss him so much :(