trying to find her way in a mixed up messed up world

i did it agian, totally messed up everything, Where did all that strength go? all that courage and motivation to go to see daddy again, why has it all dissapered? i wanna see my daddy again, i really too, i miss him like crazy, but suddenly he went out my mimd and i felt lost, lost because the one thing i wanted - i couldn't have, and the only person i wanted to hug- has been dead for 12 nearly 13 years :( I miss him, why does life have to syuck so much? or why did that have to happen to me?